Confession!!

I love seeing other children throw tantrums.... When I see a kid having a full blown meltdown in the middle of Target because Mom won't let him have a Snickers, I get the warm n' fuzzies. THANK GOD. I'm not the only one.

Salem is a beautiful child. She is vibrant, silly, and captivating. She is also really good at flipping out. I have walked out of the pediatrician's office because she would not leave another mom alone because she had on a necklace. Salem loves anything that dangles. She tries to take the pediatrician's stethoscope each visit. My husband and I have had to take turns eating at a resturant while out with friends. Salem was freaked out by being restrained by the high chair. I went in the van with her for 20 mins, then Chris took a turn in the van so I could go eat and visit with our friends... It's a blast. Really!

Today Salem wanted a boy's candy while leaving OT. She tried to take it from his hand and when she was told no, let out a high pitched shreek I thought might break that boy's glasses. The therapist tried to hold Salem to calm her down so I could finish paying. Ha ha ha!! My child will not let you HOLD her, silly person! She turned into a screaming noodle and went face down onto the floor where she continued to scream. And she doesn't talk yet, so you can just imagine all the frustration she is feeling.

I sometimes wonder if she feels trapped in her own little head. She does her best to tell me what she wants my grabbing my hand and leading me to things, but not everything can be requested this way. What if she wants me to sing to her, or cuddle with her? She can't really show me that. It really hurts to know she has some of her tantrums out of frustration. And most people, especially those with "normal" kids, totally don't get it. And people with no kids get it even less. I will probably flip out myself the next time I get dirty looks from someone when Salem starts screaming in a store. ASD doesn't announce itself when you look at a child. This is not something a person can just look at and call it out. I have had well meaning people tell me she should get a spanking... (I won't elaborate on my feelings toward those comments because they are ugly.) My daughter doesn't respond to spanking or timeout or distractions. It only makes her scream louder, kick harder, and take longer to calm down.

I'm frustrated, honestly. I thought parenting was going to be a lot easier than it is. And I have few people to talk about this to because the just don't understand. They think their kid has the same kind of tantrums. Hahaha! Ok. Whatever you say... I have met some mamas with kids on the spectrum, and they are like a breath of fresh air. "Wow! Your kid is obsessed with that too! Oh it's ok, girl, let him scream! i love it! We're going to be besties!"

So anyways, I love seeing other people's kids lose it. It's nice to feel like I'm not alone in dealing with this >>>> D,X